WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?


I teach high school seniors. I teach a core course that is required for graduation, English IV. There have been three parent-teacher conference days this school year. One lasted from 3:00-5:00 and the others were from 1:00- 7:00. I teach all of the seniors in the school with the exception of the self-contained special needs students. I have met seven parents and two older siblings. That’s it.

  There have been special meetings for the parents of the seniors to speak with the staff about graduation requirements. Ten parents show up. Academic awards dinners, 12 parents. Sporting events, maybe 20 parents. Individual conferences for misbehaving students or failures that jeopardize graduation, they have to work and can’t come.  

  This week the students were told that there would not be a toast off celebration for the prom. They lost it! They circulated a petition and parents called the school to complain. Seriously?! The prom isn’t canceled. There just won’t be a toast off prior to the main event. I hope that whoever took the parents’ calls got their updated phone numbers because the numbers in the school’s system are all disconnected.

 Here’s my issue: Where are the parents between the months of September and April? Why aren’t you this involved when we reach out to you concerning your child’s academic progress or misbehavior? Why is it that you are willing to spend a few thousand dollars on a tuxedo, prom dress, prom tickets, luxury cars, party buses, hotel afterparties, and Air B&B rentals for the weekend, yet you still haven’t paid the senior dues and your child doesn’t have a notebook, bookbag, or writing utensils? Why should your child attend prom when they aren’t eligible for graduation? Why should your child attend prom when they’ve been in a fight five times this year? I don’t get it. How are your priorities set up?

  In addition to this, these same parents will want to meet with everyone come May if their child has failed and isn’t graduated. They’ll say that they didn’t know or ask why no one called them. But where were you when we had parent-teacher conferences for SIX hours? Why haven’t you given the school your updated phone number? Why didn’t you pick up the report card or get it from your child? If you don’t trust your child, then why didn’t you request a copy from the school? And if you don’t trust your child, why should they go to the prom? I’m confused and frustrated with this pattern. Every year. You would not be surprised that your child is not graduating if you were involved. And if you were more involved, their graduation wouldn’t be in question.

 I don’t know how it happened, but a few years ago, a boy who wasn’t eligible to graduate showed up to graduation with his cap and gown, family and balloons just to be turned away. He knew that he wasn’t graduating and thought that the principal would feel sorry for him and not want to embarrass him. He thought wrong. I don’t know where the miscommunication with the parents went wrong, but that was tragic.

 I need parents to be more involved. Yes, it can be overwhelming for teachers when you get the rare helicopter parent, but to come for parent-teacher conferences at the minimum would make a huge difference. Prom is a privilege. The students will survive without it. If they don’t graduate, their uphill battle morphs into a mountain. 

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