TEACHING MADE ME NOT WANT CHILDREN


When I was in college I maintained the belief that marriage was just a piece of paper and children were burdens. After meeting the love of my life, marriage became more enticing and having a child didn’t make me cringe any longer. Now, having been a teacher for the past 13 years, I am beginning to second guess having a child. I don’t have a whole lot of time to make a decision, but social media, the news, the young people in the neighborhood and at the mall, and the students who sit in front of me and pass me in the halls everyday contribute to my growing uncertainty.

I am fearful of what my child may experience outside of my home. I feel like I would be the most obsessive helicopter mom attempting to shield my child from the terrors of the world. I hear my students call each other out of their names and make vulgar jokes about each other. I see the young men lusting after and commenting on the girls while changing classes. I’ve smelled weed on my students as they enter class. I’ve called parents who have absolutely no control over their child and send them to school for a break. I’ve seen former students in the news for committing both violent and petty crimes.  I see the videos of school fights on the internet. I see the social media posts of both boys and girls showing more of their bodies than their mothers have seen since they were three. I’ve seen the episodes of Dr. Phil where the children terrorize the parents. I’ve seen the articles on teenagers writing, chanting, or demonstrating acts that promote racial divide. I see the reports of children who’ve committed suicide as a result of bullying. I’ve heard of teachers who mistreat and bully students. I’ve seen videos of nannies and day care workers abusing babies. I’ve seen it all.

I admit, all of these examples may not occur in schools, but the participants and victims of them walk through the doors of schools each and every day. As a parent, I won’t be everywhere. I won’t be able to protect my child from everything, and I don’t know that I should. I don’t want to raise a naïve child due to my sheltering. I don’t have the answers and I don’t know that I ever will. The world that we live in can be a scary place and being on the frontline of tomorrow’s citizens has given me a sneak peek into our future. I know that I would be a great parent. But is that enough to combat the ills of our society? Teaching has allowed me to peek behind the curtain of our young people and made me second guess having a child of my own. 

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